In ‘Nava- Vidha Bhakti’ (the ninefold path of devotion), Sakhyam, or divine friendship, invites a unique and cherished relationship with the divine. This eighth stage transforms the conventional notion of friendship into a spiritual bond, as the devotee treats God not with ritualistic reverence but as a true companion, close to the heart. It’s a relationship where God becomes not only the beloved but the trusted friend, unwaveringly present in every joy, every challenge.
The essence of Sakhyam lies in the self-chosen bond that friendship embodies—one of comfort, trust, and shared experience. This closeness allows devotees, like Arjuna in the Bhagavad Gita, to transcend the boundaries of formality and bask in God’s companionship. Friendship, as we know, is a chosen bond. Through life’s ebbs and flows, joys, and sorrows, we seek someone to share our innermost thoughts and feelings—someone who supports, understands, and inspires us unconditionally. The journey with such a friend is one of mutual trust and joy. This cherished companionship is what Sakhyam seeks to cultivate with God, where the Lord’s boundless grace responds to the devotee’s yearning for closeness. The devotee, embracing God as a friend, accepts every experience as His divine prasad, a gift from the Friend who walks beside him always. Arjuna’s bond with Krishna exemplifies a deep, unbreakable friendship that remains true beyond lifetimes. Krishna himself reciprocates, becoming Arjuna’s charioteer and guiding light in the darkest of times, illustrating that in Sakhyam, the Lord embraces the devotee fully, meeting their heart’s desire for closeness.
vimukta-sambhrama ya syad visrambhatma ratir dvayoh
prayah samanayor atra sa sakhyam sthayi-sabda-bhak
(Visrambha, the affectionate exchange between two equals that is devoid of reverence and deference but is full of love, trust and confidence is called sakhya, the mellow of friendship. It is the admission of complete equality between two individuals.)
A devotee situated in ‘Dasya’ can be in stages of Sneha, Prema or even Raga, where even one’s own grief is deemed like happiness. But a devotee in ‘Sakhyam’ can even surpass these stages and be completely bereft of feelings of awe or reverence. Hence in Sakhya Rasa, Krishna and His devotees exchange feelings of mutual love and affection, assuming each other as equals. Though the friends Krishna made in Dwarka are also situated in Sakhya, the friends of Brij are more intimately united. Krishna was the very life and soul of His friends in Brij and they always craved to associate with Him.
Devotees in Sakhya Bhakti are attracted to Krishna’s charm, His horn, flute, conch, humour and prowess. They engage in various sports with Krishna like arm wrestling, dice playing, playing piggyback, playing with balls, sticks, watersports, playing with monkeys, singing and dancing together. They share the same swing, cracking jokes and chatting with Krishna.
The stages of devotion—Shravanam (listening), Kirtanam (singing), Smaranam (contemplation), Padasevanam(serving the feet of the Lord) —have prepared the heart, expanding it to embrace God not only as the master but as the confidant. The friend of God sees divine presence in all things and people, embodying virtues like humility, selflessness, and universal love. Every joy and sorrow is now accepted as divine gift, or prasad, from this special Friend. The formality is replaced by a depth of understanding that extends beyond self-interest or desires for worldly gains, leading the devotee to view every encounter as an opportunity to see his Friend’s divine play and wisdom. Gradually, the individual’s personal concerns fade into the universal, giving rise to a boundless love that encompasses all of creation. This transformation aligns one’s soul to the essence of divine friendship, ultimately dissolving the ego and personal gains into an oceanic expanse of oneness with the Friend. At this level, the devotee no longer seeks fulfilment from creation but delights in the Creator as the source and sustainer of all. The path to Sakhyam is one of intense inner refinement, shedding attachments to worldly desires and moving beyond ritual expectations.
Sri Ramakrishna Paramahamsa said that from a distance the water of the ocean appears to be blue. When you go near and take it in your cupped palms, it is colourless. Likewise, from a distance God appears to have attributes but when one goes near, one finds Brahman has no attributes. He is both with and without attributes, formless and with form. He is like the infinite ocean. When one comes close to God all scriptures seem to be of no use to the devotee; to reach the truth he has gone beyond the descriptive words in the scriptures. Long reflections on those words have helped him to transcend the words to discover the Lord who lies beyond all words and thoughts. Eventually the devotee drops all words and thoughts because God can be known and seen only in silence.
Sri Ramakrishna Paramahansa narrated a story to make us understand that true friendship with God brings the soul to an intimate bond beyond what scriptures and ritual promises can deliver.
Once there were two men who were invited to visit a mango garden with a view to start an investment. As soon as they entered the garden, they were both amazed at the quality and abundance of the fragrant fruit. One of the men immediately started counting how many mango trees there were and how many mangoes grew on each tree. Then he took out a calculator and started to compute the value of the orchard. The second man, however, on seeing this amazing orchard and its fruit walked straight to the office of the owner of the garden where he introduced himself. After a short chat the owner invited this man to not only pluck the fruit and taste it, but also to take away as much as he wanted for his family and friends. Thus, while one man was busy counting and calculating, the other was tasting the delicious fruit itself. Ramakrishna Paramahansa often cited this example to show the difference between an ordinary devotee and an advanced devotee who had reached the Sakhyam stage. The ordinary devotee busies himself with probing the genesis of creation while the advanced devotee makes a direct acquaintance by presenting himself. In Srimad Bhagavad Gita, Sri Krishna declares, “He who searches me out shall find Me. Then, I am always with him, always. He will never lose sight of me nor will I ever lose of him.Take one step towards me and I shall take a hundred steps towards you.”
(Nobody is born enemy, nobody is born friend. We understand who is our friend or enemy is only by our mutual behaviour.)
Entering God’s inner circle, the devotee gains the privilege of experiencing His mystery and wisdom, knowing the divine in a way that transcends traditional knowledge. It’s an understanding born from the silence that follows deep communion. In this quiet space, the devotee’s ‘I’ merges with the divine, seeing God in all creation and finding self-inclusion in the vision of the Friend. Here, Sakhyam fulfils its ultimate promise: unity with the Friend who resides in all and transcends all, offering an everlasting bond with the divine.
In Sakhyam, God becomes more than a deity; He becomes the soul’s eternal friend—constant, intimate, and ever-present.
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